By Jean Kinsey and Frank Busta

At my retirement party, I (Jean) said, “Welcome to my Commencement.” Little did Frank and I know that commencements repeat themselves. Now, Frank and I are commencing a new lifestyle in a senior living community, The Pillars of Prospect Park. Our familiar furniture, books, and art works look different in this new space, but once they were all arranged and could be found, it became home. It feels good, and comfortable, and safe. 

The new neighbors are very friendly, the activities non-stop (but optional), and the dining room is open three times a day every day. The social opportunities are particularly rewarding—cribbage, movies, TED Talks, transportation with prearranged tickets to concerts, etc. We brought our respective home offices with us so we can hunker down behind our computers for endless hours if we choose, but we accept the daily challenge of selecting interesting activities. It does take a few weeks to adjust to some new rules, e.g., no candles, new driving routes to our favorite haunts, new faces among the caregivers assisting Frank, and new walking paths.

Move first, sell later

How do you spell relief? SOLD, as it relates to your former home. Before and after we moved, we spent almost every day for over five months clearing out two lifetimes of paper, books, clothes, etc. Wisdom says, move first, sell later. It may be wise, but it is very hard physical work sorting, packing, and hauling selected stuff to selected places. Finding the best place to dispose of specific things is a challenge. Do we sell it somewhere (Facebook Marketplace, auction houses, consignment stores)? Which charity vender should receive our clothes, household goods, and books? A junk hauler and a shredding truck became part of the parade. 

Leaving one’s longtime home is both emotionally draining and exciting. Tears flow as you discard memorabilia, say goodbye to beloved neighbors, and drive away for the last time. But the catharsis of right-sizing your belongings, and saving and relocating just the right things, brings a new kind of freedom. It is that freedom that makes the transition exciting. And not incidentally, it is an enormous gift to your heirs. 

If you would like to share a first-person account of something meaningful to you, whether it’s a humorous or a sobering reflection related to aging, or a snapshot of what you’re doing in retirement, please send an email to me with “First person” in the subject line. —Kristine Mortensen, editor