Loss and resiliency were subject of November workshop
Ted Bowman, who specializes in helping individuals, families, organizations, and communities deal with loss, change, and transition, led the November UMRA Cares Committee workshop. Bowman, who taught family education at the U for many years, addressed issues of loss, change, and depression, and offered suggestions for how one might speak to and perhaps help grieving people.
Possibilities start with making contact and asking a person, “How are you doing?” “Do you want to talk?” “Do you want to talk about ‘up’ stuff or ‘down’ stuff?” In offering help it is important to express condolences but not a good idea to try to talk a person out of their grief, Bowman said. “The loss is forever, the continual presence of an absence.”
Citing research, his own extensive practice experience, and an impressive range of literary sources, Bowman talked about the complexities of the grief process, whether triggered by “conspicuous loss” (death, diagnosis, disaster, dismissal, or dementia) or shattered dreams. He emphasized the importance of embracing loss—“if something is unmentionable it is unmanageable”—but acknowledged it is often not simple, because one recurrently encounters new and unanticipated challenges connected to a loss.
Bowman also addressed the special challenges of grieving in close relationships, like couples and families, when people may avoid talking about their losses because they are trying to protect one another. Citing a couple in which one partner had multiple sclerosis, Bowman described how the couple tried to find new ways to connect with each other and to offload some of their sadness without necessarily talking about it.
One overriding message Bowman offered was that people can both honor sadness and find paths to moments of renewal and hope. Loss and change do not go away, but there are things to enjoy and appreciate.
—Paul Rosenblatt, UMRA Cares Committee
Change, loss, and resiliency
Tue, November 27 2018, 1:30pm
West Wing, Campus Club, Fourth Floor, Coffman Memorial Union
Maintaining resiliency and honest hope for self and others can be challenging. For our November workshop, family and grief educator Ted Bowman will share his extensive experience teaching about life transition decisions and coping with grief. Participants will explore disruptive changes related to aging and the grief that can accompany them. Emphasis will be placed on resiliency and how to hold onto hope in the midst of change.
For more than two decades, Bowman was an adjunct instructor in family education at the University of Minnesota. Since 2006, he has been an adjunct faculty member in social work at the University of St. Thomas, teaching a graduate course on grief and loss. Bowman is also an author and consultant who specializes in change and transition, whether it occurs in families, an organization, or the community. His emphasis is on aiding people in utilizing their strengths in facing change and transition.
From 1985 to 1996, Bowman was senior trainer for the Wilder Foundation. Earlier, he directed educational programs at family service agencies in Charlotte, North Carolina, and Minneapolis. In addition, he served as adjunct faculty at the National Center for Family Literacy in Louisville, Kentucky, at United Theological Seminary in New Brighton, and the School of New Learning at DePaul University in Chicago.
Bowman has published more than 90 articles, chapters, booklets, and poems. His two booklets, Loss of Dreams: A Special Kind of Grief and Finding Hope When Dreams Have Shattered, have been widely used in grief and bereavement settings. Crossroads: Stories at the Intersections, his book of poems and essays, was published in 2008. In 2010, Bowman and Elizabeth Johnson published The Wind Blows, The Ice Breaks, a collection of poems by Minnesota poets addressing themes of loss and renewal.
Bowman has served on many boards, local and national, including the Missouri Practical Parenting Partnership, the National Association for Poetry Therapy, and the Committee on Ministry for the Minnesota Conference of the United Church of Christ. He is also a frequent trainer, consultant, and speaker in numerous countries around the world. Bowman is married, the father and stepfather of four children, and a grandfather of five “grand” children.
Please join us in the Campus Club West Wing dining room after the UMRA luncheon on November 27 for this Living Well Workshop from 1:30 to 2:30 p.m.
—Ron Anderson, interim chair, UMRA Cares Committee
Upcoming Events
Our July 15 "hike" is going to be a kayaking adventure on Bde Maka Ska (formerly Lake Calhoun) and Lake of the Isles! If you don't have a kayak (or paddleboard), Wheel Fun Rentals, located next to the new concession stand rents single kayaks at $15 an hour and double kayaks at $25. The second hour is free if we rent before noon. Life jackets are provided with the rental.
Laura Ericksen will lead the discussion of How Stella Learned to Talk by Christina Hunger, a true story by a speech-language pathologist who taught her dog, Stella, to communicate using buttons associated with different words.
Our August 5 hike will be a reprise of our hike last summer at William O'Brien State Park. This is a beautiful park with a winding trail and a great view of the countryside. The hike is about 5.5 to 6 miles and we'll go at a moderate pace with frequent water breaks. After the hike, we will eat lunch at Rustic Roots Winery, a half mile north of the park.
Kathy Cramer will lead the discussion of The Bookbinder by Pip Williams, a book set in 1914 Oxford chronicling the life of Peggy who works in the University bindery, but craves a life beyond binding books but to being a scholar herself.
Enjoy a two-hour cruise on the Jonathan Padelford, leaving from the Harriet Island dock in St. Paul, boarding time at 5:30 p.m. We will have a brief program on board by Patrick Nunnally from the River Life Program of the Institute on the Environment.
August 31 is the due date for annual reports and updates. Annual Reports, Toolkits, web page updates, operating document updates and archives collections are all due each year on this date.
Autumn is a wonderful season in Minnesota so plan to join UMRA at the Andersen Horticultural Library at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum. Kristen Mastel, head librarian and curator, will reveal its treasure trove of publications and artifacts relating to plant history, horticulture, and natural history. After the tour, those who are interested may stay to eat lunch together, sitting outside if the weather is nice. Later, you are invited to a one-hour tram tour of the entire Arboretum that includes natural areas of flowering shrubs, bogs, and forests, family garden and landscaping showpieces, and the red barn farm
After a summer break the UMRA Photo Club will next meet September 10, 2024 in the meeting room of the Hennepin County St. Anthony Branch Library. For those interested in lunch, meet at the Great Dragon at 11:30 am. For September the THEME will be Curves
We will continue to discuss the pros and cons of Medicare Advantage. You will also hear about notable non-health plan and non-broker resources.