Loss and resiliency were subject of November workshop
Ted Bowman, who specializes in helping individuals, families, organizations, and communities deal with loss, change, and transition, led the November UMRA Cares Committee workshop. Bowman, who taught family education at the U for many years, addressed issues of loss, change, and depression, and offered suggestions for how one might speak to and perhaps help grieving people.
Possibilities start with making contact and asking a person, “How are you doing?” “Do you want to talk?” “Do you want to talk about ‘up’ stuff or ‘down’ stuff?” In offering help it is important to express condolences but not a good idea to try to talk a person out of their grief, Bowman said. “The loss is forever, the continual presence of an absence.”
Citing research, his own extensive practice experience, and an impressive range of literary sources, Bowman talked about the complexities of the grief process, whether triggered by “conspicuous loss” (death, diagnosis, disaster, dismissal, or dementia) or shattered dreams. He emphasized the importance of embracing loss—“if something is unmentionable it is unmanageable”—but acknowledged it is often not simple, because one recurrently encounters new and unanticipated challenges connected to a loss.
Bowman also addressed the special challenges of grieving in close relationships, like couples and families, when people may avoid talking about their losses because they are trying to protect one another. Citing a couple in which one partner had multiple sclerosis, Bowman described how the couple tried to find new ways to connect with each other and to offload some of their sadness without necessarily talking about it.
One overriding message Bowman offered was that people can both honor sadness and find paths to moments of renewal and hope. Loss and change do not go away, but there are things to enjoy and appreciate.
—Paul Rosenblatt, UMRA Cares Committee
Change, loss, and resiliency
Tue, November 27 2018, 1:30pm
West Wing, Campus Club, Fourth Floor, Coffman Memorial Union
Maintaining resiliency and honest hope for self and others can be challenging. For our November workshop, family and grief educator Ted Bowman will share his extensive experience teaching about life transition decisions and coping with grief. Participants will explore disruptive changes related to aging and the grief that can accompany them. Emphasis will be placed on resiliency and how to hold onto hope in the midst of change.
For more than two decades, Bowman was an adjunct instructor in family education at the University of Minnesota. Since 2006, he has been an adjunct faculty member in social work at the University of St. Thomas, teaching a graduate course on grief and loss. Bowman is also an author and consultant who specializes in change and transition, whether it occurs in families, an organization, or the community. His emphasis is on aiding people in utilizing their strengths in facing change and transition.
From 1985 to 1996, Bowman was senior trainer for the Wilder Foundation. Earlier, he directed educational programs at family service agencies in Charlotte, North Carolina, and Minneapolis. In addition, he served as adjunct faculty at the National Center for Family Literacy in Louisville, Kentucky, at United Theological Seminary in New Brighton, and the School of New Learning at DePaul University in Chicago.
Bowman has published more than 90 articles, chapters, booklets, and poems. His two booklets, Loss of Dreams: A Special Kind of Grief and Finding Hope When Dreams Have Shattered, have been widely used in grief and bereavement settings. Crossroads: Stories at the Intersections, his book of poems and essays, was published in 2008. In 2010, Bowman and Elizabeth Johnson published The Wind Blows, The Ice Breaks, a collection of poems by Minnesota poets addressing themes of loss and renewal.
Bowman has served on many boards, local and national, including the Missouri Practical Parenting Partnership, the National Association for Poetry Therapy, and the Committee on Ministry for the Minnesota Conference of the United Church of Christ. He is also a frequent trainer, consultant, and speaker in numerous countries around the world. Bowman is married, the father and stepfather of four children, and a grandfather of five “grand” children.
Please join us in the Campus Club West Wing dining room after the UMRA luncheon on November 27 for this Living Well Workshop from 1:30 to 2:30 p.m.
—Ron Anderson, interim chair, UMRA Cares Committee
Upcoming Events
We are fortunate to have UMRA member and former Minnesota Landscape Arboretum director Peter Moe to lead this approximately 3.7-mile hike at the Arboretum on Monday, May 6. Plan to have lunch together after the hike at the Eatery café inside the Oswald Visitor Center.
This session will continue the discussion begun in the May 8, 2023 session. See that article for details.
If you currently live in your own home or apartment, have you looked ahead to when you might want to consider a senior living option? Do you have any idea what those options might be? How much they cost? What they provide? UMRA’s May 14 workshop will provide an overview of the world of senior living and the basic information you need.
You’re invited to join the final Family History Interest Group meeting for 2023–24. This will be an opportunity to ask questions related to family history, share insights, talk about recent projects, and suggest topics for next year.
Stephanie Daily will lead the discussion of Fuzz: When Nature Breaks the Law by best-selling author Mary Roach when the UMRA Book Club meets via Zoom at 2 p.m. on Friday, May 17.
The May 20 hike will start at the Historic Lift Bridge in Stillwater and go along the river to the new bridge, cross over and then back on the Wisconsin side, a total of approximately 5 miles. Most of the route is paved. We will eat lunch after at Brian's Bar and Grill in Stillwater. Car pooling will be available.
Climatologist and meteorologist Mark Seeley joined the U of M faculty in 1978 and has been a weekly commentator on Minnesota Public Radio since 1992. We are honored to welcome him as our guest speaker for UMRA’s May Luncheon Forum and 2024 Annual Meeting. He is always entertaining and informative.
UMRA’s Fourth Friday Book Club welcomes back, for the second time, author Julie Schumacher, U of M Regents professor of creative writing and English, for a conversation about her novel The Shakespeare Requirement.
We are in for a treat on June 3! Lynn Anderson, will lead us on trails at two parks near her Monticello home. Bring a bag lunch and we will gather in Lynn's yard along the Mississippi River for eating and socializing after the hike.
Get out to the ballpark with fellow UMRA members for the annual U of M Day at Target Field as the Minnesota Twins take on the Oakland Athletics on June 14 at 7:10 p.m.
Please join us at 9:30 on June 17, 2024 for a walk around Lake Como in St. Paul before attending the UMRA Summer Social and Picnic starting at 11 at the Como Pavilion. A perfect opportunity to get in a walk before we gather to celebrate summer.
Picnic under the covered, open-air Como pavilion, gaze at the water, spy some birds, catch up with friends and former colleagues, and meet new members. We’ll have lunch with plenty of time for visiting and then compete in teams as we are challenged by our Quiz master(s)!
Healthy aging, mindfulness, fighting ageism, and more will be the focus of the third annual Age-Friendly University Day to be held on the U of M Twin Cities campus.