Coming to terms with change
On July 7, noted grief and transitions educator Ted Bowman offered a sobering but hopeful presentation on “Resilient coping: Facing life course realities plus a pandemic and community upheaval” for UMRA’s first Living Well workshop via Zoom.
Bowman argued that our responses to the current crises have much in common with responses to personal change and loss, and that principles for coping well with personal change also apply to coping with cultural change.
Personal and community crises both involve loss and grief, which is the response to loss. And both usually entail shattered dreams.
The pandemic has deprived us of vacations, reunions, funerals, and, for some, our livelihoods. It has also shattered our illusions about our country’s superiority and basic competence.
The facts brought forth by the widespread protests following the killing of George Floyd have shattered illusions about our country’s and our community’s morality, history, and heroes.
New stories to replace the old
We are in a period of change, and change inevitably involves the loss of old stories and dreams and grief for those losses. The road to dealing constructively with change, Bowman said, begins with the understanding that our primary work is that of transition.
Transition is the creation of a new story to replace the old one, and people often fall short in this effort.
Successful and resilient transitions rest first on the acknowledgment of loss and the acceptance of grief. They do not try to shrink the grief or make it go away. Rather, they involve the expansion of one’s activities and stories so that the grief takes up less space in one’s life.
Successful transitions are constructive, compassionate, and relational. We build our new stories by being active, being kind, and reaching out to others. These new stories are based on realistic hope that realistically acknowledges our losses and shortcomings, but also embeds them in a larger, proactive life.
—Ron Matross, chair, Workshop Committee
Resilient coping: Facing life course realities plus a pandemic and community upheaval
Tue, July 7 2020, 11am
Event to be held via Zoom.
Author and consultant Ted Bowman specializes in change and transition, in families, organizations, and communities.
Maintaining resiliency and honest hope for self and others while growing older can be challenging, even in the best of times. But it is especially challenging now that we are dealing simultaneously with the three crises of pandemic, economic recession, and community upheaval.
In this first UMRA workshop to be presented via Zoom, family and grief educator Ted Bowman will share his extensive experience teaching about life transitions and coping with change. Participants in the webinar will explore how to cope with disruptive changes and the grief that can accompany them. Emphasis will be placed on resiliency and how to hold onto hope in the midst of change.
Please register for this free webinar via z.umn.edu/UMRA-July2020-Workshop or with the invitation that was emailed to UMRA members on June 12.
For more than two decades, Bowman was an adjunct instructor in family education at the University of Minnesota. Since 2006, he has been an adjunct faculty member in social work at the University of St. Thomas, teaching a graduate course on grief and loss. Bowman is also an author and consultant who specializes in change and transition, whether it occurs in families, an organization, or the community. From 1985 to 1996, Bowman was senior trainer for the Wilder Foundation.
Earlier, he directed educational programs at family service agencies in Charlotte, North Carolina, and Minneapolis. In addition, he served as adjunct faculty at the National Center for Family Literacy in Louisville, Kentucky, at United Theological Seminary in New Brighton, and the School of New Learning at DePaul University in Chicago.
Bowman has published more than 90 articles, chapters, booklets, and poems. His two booklets, Loss of Dreams: A Special Kind of Grief and Finding Hope When Dreams Have Shattered, have been widely used in grief and bereavement settings.
Crossroads: Stories at the Intersections, his book of poems and essays, was published in 2008. In 2010, Bowman and Elizabeth Johnson published The Wind Blows, The Ice Breaks, a collection of poems by Minnesota poets addressing themes of loss and renewal. He is also a frequent trainer, consultant, and speaker in countries around the world. Bowman is married, the father and stepfather of four children, and a grandfather.
—Ron Matross, chair, UMRA Cares and Workshop Committee
Upcoming Events
We are fortunate to have UMRA member and former Minnesota Landscape Arboretum director Peter Moe to lead this approximately 3.7-mile hike at the Arboretum on Monday, May 6. Plan to have lunch together after the hike at the Eatery café inside the Oswald Visitor Center.
This session will continue the discussion begun in the May 8, 2023 session. See that article for details.
If you currently live in your own home or apartment, have you looked ahead to when you might want to consider a senior living option? Do you have any idea what those options might be? How much they cost? What they provide? UMRA’s May 14 workshop will provide an overview of the world of senior living and the basic information you need.
You’re invited to join the final Family History Interest Group meeting for 2023–24. This will be an opportunity to ask questions related to family history, share insights, talk about recent projects, and suggest topics for next year.
Stephanie Daily will lead the discussion of Fuzz: When Nature Breaks the Law by best-selling author Mary Roach when the UMRA Book Club meets via Zoom at 2 p.m. on Friday, May 17.
The May 20 hike will start at the Historic Lift Bridge in Stillwater and go along the river to the new bridge, cross over and then back on the Wisconsin side, a total of approximately 5 miles. Most of the route is paved. We will eat lunch after at Brian's Bar and Grill in Stillwater. Car pooling will be available.
Climatologist and meteorologist Mark Seeley joined the U of M faculty in 1978 and has been a weekly commentator on Minnesota Public Radio since 1992. We are honored to welcome him as our guest speaker for UMRA’s May Luncheon Forum and 2024 Annual Meeting. He is always entertaining and informative.
UMRA’s Fourth Friday Book Club welcomes back, for the second time, author Julie Schumacher, U of M Regents professor of creative writing and English, for a conversation about her novel The Shakespeare Requirement.
We are in for a treat on June 3! Lynn Anderson, will lead us on trails at two parks near her Monticello home. Bring a bag lunch and we will gather in Lynn's yard along the Mississippi River for eating and socializing after the hike.
Get out to the ballpark with fellow UMRA members for the annual U of M Day at Target Field as the Minnesota Twins take on the Oakland Athletics on June 14 at 7:10 p.m.
Please join us at 9:30 on June 17, 2024 for a walk around Lake Como in St. Paul before attending the UMRA Summer Social and Picnic starting at 11 at the Como Pavilion. A perfect opportunity to get in a walk before we gather to celebrate summer.
Picnic under the covered, open-air Como pavilion, gaze at the water, spy some birds, catch up with friends and former colleagues, and meet new members. We’ll have lunch with plenty of time for visiting and then compete in teams as we are challenged by our Quiz master(s)!
Healthy aging, mindfulness, fighting ageism, and more will be the focus of the third annual Age-Friendly University Day to be held on the U of M Twin Cities campus.